Last Evil in the Box
by awfulblueberrypancakes
Summary: Eridan gets cut in half but this ends up triggering him to do a hopey thing subconsciously, and well here I am now a hope ghost with a megalomaniac as a boss. Man, what has my life become. Semi self-insert. AU.
1. Chapter 1

And All the Evils Fled Leaving Only Hope

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"Oh man, you do not look good." He really didn't with his legs and torso not being one unit and all the blood. Even if it is a pretty color, kind looks like grape flavored soda. The fuck brain.

"Honestly though it was a touch deserved, that cut is really rather clean" I mentioned off-handedly while turning my attention to the culprit.

"Kanaya you should get a gold star or something none of his organs are damaged which is just bullshit." I monologued though it appeared no one was hearing me, well I'm pretty sure Eridan could, but the shock had to have started to set in by now. Also being a glowing, white, gold, transparent figure was distracting and I just sorta fell back on being an asshat out of habit.

Looking back over to Eridan. Oh maybe the lack of response wasn't shock but brain death oops. "No time like the present. You better appreciate this you fishy megalomaniac, man your head better not smell or fuck I don't know what I'll do I'm just an apparition of hope."

An upside to being a hope ghost blood doesn't stick to you which was good as I've always been squeamish and don't think I could have waded through all this blood and kept my lunch. Huh, can I throw up questions for later when my mind is not screening **RECONSTITUTE THE PRINCE**. "Here goes nothing!" I chirped while reaching out to touch his shoulder.

* * *

Opening his eyes was strangely comfortable given the biological differences but anyway time to make my grand entrance.

"Gfff, man his mouth was full of blood, and it tastes so weird, oh glub this is weird, and now his lexicon is slipping in to mine fuck" my speech came out slurred and a touch whiny, but talking with a mouth full of blood is gross and I feel no shame over my problem with it.

The room was quiet, and I could feel all eyes on me. I can work with this just got to talk before they decide to leave me to be mutilated by the murder clown, having no legs sucks. "Now that I've got all of your attention can one of you lend me your legs so I can get Eridan's legs back attached to this body, that be great!" I tried my hardest to be as peppy as possible but I could feel some of my snark slipping out as I said, "this team doesn't need any more cripples Tavros already got that position filled, and you all saw how competent he was, wait a second didn't he die recently as well hmmm whatever never liked him much far too passive."

I was flopping his head around like a fish while trying to catch a good view on Vriska and Kanaya to try and gage if they would help me, or I would have to figure out a plan to get to the legs without Gamzee interfering and taking his head, when I heard Kanaya starting to talk, which raised questions of its own but they could wait. "I just sawed you in half for killing our friends and blasting a hole through me, why would we help you at all."

"Well if its any help I'm not Eridan my name is," and as I opened his mouth something came over me forcing me stiff and a voice that was not mine and unmistakable mine spoke. " **HOPE CONSCRIPT DESIGNATION CN-413** " a fog I had not even noticed had overtaken me went rushing out with that pronouncement leaving me tired and shaken if the body I was in was not already ashen from the blood loss it was most definitely now from the sudden rush of hopelessness.

"The fuck was that" I forced out in a voice far too small. Crushed by whatever had just taken me over. "Can one of you please just come over and put the legs when they are supposed to go so I can start healing Eridan and get out of his corpse." I wasn't the only one spooked it looked like Kanaya was a little thrown off too by the look of things and Vriska is either really shocked or star struck by something, but anyway Kanaya slowly approached the corpse I was possessing with her lipstick draw ready to cut "me" apart some more if I proved to be lying.

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Needless to say, I was not lying, so things went swimmingly, having legs was great being able to pace once more was absolutely fantastic. Though the healing was going a touch slower then I would have liked, but I guess that makes sense given the body had lost a lot of blood and was chopped in half. Though it was healing at an honestly insane rate almost immediately, when the upper and lower halves were put back together I felt the spine click back together and fuse into one unit again.

Kanaya hasn't stopped watching me like a hawk that drinks blood ever since she helped get the legs back in place it was honestly a touch disconcerting. So naturally, I started a dialogue, "The cut you made on this body was rather impressive I give it a solid 8.8/10 you lose some points for the blood splatter though so very messy." I chided her jokingly trying to craft a friendlier atmosphere.

Slowly she blinked at me. As though to get across that we are not friends, and she was just waiting to put me down. Before responding in that strange lilting and precise way of hers with an undercurrent of cold fury, "I was not actually attempting to keep the blood on the inside, but next time I will keep that in mind."

"Oh please do! we wouldn't want to make an even larger mess just imagine all the work it will be to clean up!" I chirped back at her attempting the cringe at the response. Evidently, she did not like me very much, and I couldn't much blame her this body did blast a hole through her middle.

"Ya, I'm bad at all that sincere person stuff that was supposed to be a compliment on your effi… OOOH! It's happening the body has regained enough functions for Eridan to be waking up… "That was the last thing I remember before everything went black and I found myself in a vaguely familiar setting with a very familiar figure standing there looking around confused.

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 **Authors Note:**

 **Thank you for reading this is my first purview into fanfiction on the authorial side and reviews would be nice but other than that I've got nothing else to say have a nice day!**


	2. Chapter 2

Hope Burns Brightest at Home

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Holy shit this is my room. Man, I am a slob, was a slob. Calmly sliding my hands into my pockets and looking anywhere but at him, I said, "So I would have picked up if I knew I was going to have guests but I didn't think I'd be pulled into some weird mental space with you." Throughout my comment, I dragged my foot back and forth through the carpet and clothes piled on top of it. I would never have any more fashion choices now with being a hope ghost. The button-down carefully tucked into my slacks with a tie crossing my neck was all I got, and it wasn't even in my preferred colors of black for the pants and a pastel blue shirt with a choice tie to throw a semblance of matching to the wind. Now I was just a white-yellow hardly a few shades darker than my skin.

"You should have left me dead" He wasn't looking at me or anything actually, just a thousand yard stare piercing right through the walls seeing something that was not there. "She was right to cut me down; I'm a traitor not just to our quaint group but to our species as a whole." He toke a sudden breath and barked out a sharp laugh, "I got my wish though not going to be any land dwellers after this, there won't be any more trolls at all I killed them all."

He was broken. He was hope and destined to destroy himself. Slowly I walked over to him and gently placed a hand on his shoulder "You know a boss that isn't really a choice for all that you made plenty of mistakes you can't just give up when times get tough trust me I know how easy that would be but you gotta carry on…"

Swiftly and sharply he turned smacking my arm away and stepped forward into my personal space baring his teeth, "Shut your mouth!" hissed out from between his grinding teeth. I felt my mouth snap closed if I were more material a good chunk of my tongue would now be on the floor. "I killed her and destroyed everything! There is nothing left for me!"

Staring him in the eyes never blinking I forced through my gritted teeth and a locked jaw, "So that means you run and hide like, a child grow up. You fucked things up majorly, but you're not alone. Vriska just killed Tavros, Gamzee has killed Nepeta, and Equius, he mutilated their corpses in fact. You are in fact tied for the lowest kill count on this rock, it won't be easy in fact it will most certainly be hard, but you can still make amends and actually start living up to your title. You're the destroyer of hope why don't you stop destroying yours and your friends and start destroying the enemies." My eyes shown with power, and I don't know if it was me doing a hope thing myself or what but Eridan's next actions surprised me.

He crumpled back falling onto my bed in a heap of destroyed and unstable boy. It made him look so young even though I was only a year his senior. "I just can't face them after all I've done the blood of our whole species is on my hands" his voice was muffled as his face was pressed down into my mattress. I slunk over and plopped down next to him. "You'll be fine, let me tell you what I assume will be the first spoiler of many, in the new session you are heading too there's a girl that with some effort and guidance will be able to pull the matriorb from nothing."

Slowly as if acknowledging what I said would cause my words to become vipers and lash out at him he turned his head to look at me. "Really…" I nodded "I think I'm ready to wake up now." and with that, the room began to dissolve into light the same color as me.

* * *

We both snapped back into reality and time seemed to not have ticked on at all. I could still feel all of Eridan's limbs and the wounds sealing themselves shut with whatever hope bull shit I was doing. His limbs though they weren't as responsive like a puppet instead of living in the meat itself.

"Would you stop that, I never got your name, but it's giving me these awful cramps." Eridan vocalized. Man his voice is different then what it sounds like when I use his body. I wasn't the only that noticed the change as Kanaya when from mildly hostile to outright angry.

" _Quick before Kanaya can sideline you or whatever she has planned we need to find Terezi before she kills Vriska._ " I could feel something from Eridan to hazard a guess I assume its surprise did he not think Terezi has it in her. " _She'll regret it, and it eventually leads to everyone's death well at least in the timeline where you stayed dead, but I'm not willing to risk it._ "

Kanaya's mouth was opening, and she was stepping forward when Eridan spoke. "The hope construct warns of Vriska's death at Terezi's cane we can put off my punishments until the situation is contained."

That was actually rather impressive. He's a much better actor then I gave him credit for with all the panic and self-loathing running through his head he stayed rather calm.

"Their confrontation took place at on this rock that was rather open and high up." That poor description seemed to have some sort of relevance to Eridan as he was off marching with Kanaya close on his heels.

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The walk felt much longer than it really was with how awkward things were with Kanaya carefully watching Eridan and Eridan attempting to keep himself from dwelling on his faults.

There was good news though Eridan was healed up fully now. While he was still no picture of health he no longer needed me to keep him alive, didn't mean I stopped healing him though.

We arrived just on time. Terezi was just about to flip her coin, sealing Vriska's fate... till John gets his retcon power that is.

"We need to stop them now, sorry about this." I split form Eridan, and from how he staggered back a step it had taken him back a touch. What's surprised him more was Kanaya steading him.

I took a few steps forward in all my glowing, glory hands firmly in my pockets. "Well look at justice being done" I drawled out mockingly "Oh wait! this isn't justice it's a witch hunt, and all I see is a thief. Vriska stop this idiocy fighting Jack is suicide even with your luck. Do you want to orphan all those irons to melt away in the fire."

Good, I got both their attention, "Moral of the story Gamzee is the real murderer he ran out of sopor and had a psychotic break. You Vriska are important for the end game to fight Lord English some might say the linchpin. Trust me I was once the seer of hope."

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 **Authors Note:  
I want to say a thank you to those of you that followed favorited and review, you know who you are, and you are great! Have a nice day!**


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